PISSING VINEGAR Vol. 37: Powerless
Written September 6, 2003

Okay, here’s the situation…

Upon looking at my guestbook recently, I realized that some of you actually dug on past installments of Random Hostility (millions, apparently, though this site has garnered not even 6700 hits as of this writing). Regardless, it’s my opinion that if one person voices an opinion on a subject, it surely warrants an entire PV. With that in mind, I present an entire PV on one subject. Enjoy!

So, here’s the Coles notes… last weekend, Carrie & I moved two floors down in the apartment building we live in, settling into what is arguably the best apartment in the complex (certainly better than the attic). Seriously, it’s fucking great, and I’d suggest for you all to come and visit sometime.

Anyway, the fatal flaw turned out to be the fact that we didn’t call NB Power to get our hook up at the right time. See, apparently, we’re the first instance in history of people moving on a Saturday. Because of this, no one was available to flip the switch until, we were told, Tuesday. Bullshit! Why the fuck is it so impossible for someone to flip a God damn switch (they can do the fucking thing over the phone now, or so I hear) and give us our power? Well, apparently, it’s quite a burden, so much so that they’ve instituted a policy wherein you must call at least 24 hours in advance to hook up your power.

Okay, so we thought of it as a camping trip, and made the most out of what light we had in the daytime, unpacking as much as we could, and moving the frozen food to Carrie’s parents’ place. Fast forward to Sunday evening, when our landlord finally decides to let us know that we could use his extension cord and tap into the hallway power. I guess we had to give him 24 hours notice too. Anyway, we were still in the dark, but at least we could watch TV (ultra super bonus: the cable hadn’t yet been disconnected, so we didn’t have to miss an episode of Six Feet Under… it’s fantastic, catch it Sundays at 11PM AT on Showcase).

Before we knew it, it was Tuesday and, after a long weekend that seemed like a week, we’d finally have power. So, Carrie calls to set it up, only to be informed that the power couldn’t be hooked up. Why, you ask? Well, apparently, our measly $87 power payment was ONE DAY LATE, so nothing could be done until we were square. Now, due to circumstances I’ll no doubt outline in a future PV, I didn’t receive my unemployment payment until Friday, and due to the long weekend, Carrie wasn’t getting hers until Wednesday. So, in order to get our power hooked up, we had to borrow $87 from Carrie’s mom and pay the fucking bill first. We do just that, and we’re moments away from getting our power back.

What, you didn’t think it’d be that easy, did you? When we called NB Power back after paying the bill, they informed us that we’d have our power hooked up on Wednesday, due to the twenty-four hour notice they require (I thought we gave notice on Saturday when we told them we had no fucking power). Disappointed and somewhat angry, we took on the “whatever” attitude, and that was that. The next day, expecting our power to be on in all its glory, we wake to none. Carrie calls again, and is informed that they COULD hook the power up that day, but that it would cost an additional $50 because (get this) there hasn’t been enough notice given, and it therefore qualifies as an “emergency hookup”. At wit’s end, Carrie orders the fucking emergency hookup, and on Wednesday afternoon we have power after FOUR DAYS in the dark.

Now, when I look back on the situation, I realize that this is what we get when one of our most essential of all needs is monopolized. If there were a competitor vying for our energy dollars, do you really think there would be such thing as an “emergency fee”? How about this 24 hours notice bullshit? Hell, I bet if there were competition in this province, they’d be racing their trucks over at the first sign of you moving into a place. Shit, they’d be all over you like goth chicks at a funeral.

I’m not saying that we absolutely need a second choice for power around here. What I AM saying is that NB Power should probably get their shit together, and stop pissing people off in case we DO get a second choice in the future. You know, I think back to that really fucking bad ice storm we had a few years ago, and I remember how NB Power linesmen were commended for their hard work in restoring power to the thousands of homes affected in the province. I kind of think that the adulation got to their heads, because they’ve been coasting ever since. A rate hike here, a new fee there, we’ll get to your power when we feel like it… maybe we need another disaster to whip these fuckers into shape. How much does it cost to get a hurricane to put New Brunswick on its itinerary, anyway?

At the end of the day, though, I have to wonder. What if we had decided to move in January instead of September? What if we had to spend the four coldest days of the winter in the dark because of an inane set of fucking technicalities? That thought is truly enough to make you feel utterly and completely powerless.

Here endeth the ePISSle.


P.S. This actually did start out as Book Six of Random Hostility, but my anger got so focused and thorough for NB Power, it certainly ended up warranting its own PV. Maybe next time, Dok.