Experiment A Success!
 
Meant to post sooner, but it kind of slipped my mind.  Anyway, after going to the hospital on Wednesday, I was shocked to find that the doctor on duty actually seemed to give two shits about my neck.  He even asked a few questions about it, got me to touch my toes and shit, and prescribed a muscle relaxer.  Not quite what I was going for, but at least I wasn't shrugged off this time.
 
It goes to show you, folks... the more like a yuppie you look, the better service you'll get.  Try dressing like a slob for a week, go to a bunch of stores and such, and take note of the service.  Then, the next week, repeat the process in a polo shirt and some nice beige slacks.  See how much better you're treated?  That's because, though no one will admit their prejudices, the class system is still fully fucking functional, and if you're not "upper", you're not shit.
 
Happy trails.