Pissing Vinegar Vol... Er... 41? Ish?

Okay, here's the situation...

As I start stroking these keys (and nothing else at the moment; that's for when I'm on other people's blogs), it's 10:32 am. I'm half awake due to playing Rampage (yes, the old school arcade game) until 3:30 last night and, for some ungodly reason, I've decided that this would be a good time to start thinking creatively. I've got to be at work at noon, so I've got to think fast ("fast" being a word that left my vocabulary many years of smoking ago). As of this exact moment, I've got no plan in place whatsoever (although making an entire post in which every sentence has one of these asides in brackets might be entertaining).

Don't worry, though; if this post doesn't seem up to snuff, I have a solution. I was thinking that in, say, two or three weeks, I could come back to this post... you know, just to spruce it up a little bit. I'll add a few more obscenities, maybe a few more lines of colourful text that don't really add anything to the equation (but they'll so totally flesh out the narrative). Ooh, better yet, I could provide an accompanying commentary track, so that everyone can know what the process is like, and what I was thinking when I said "nuttier than a teacup of shart juice". Or, if you prefer, I can offer some behind-the-scenes shit; so as to say, I could throw in a picture of my toilet. What better way to give you, the hardcore fan, access to the psyche than to show you where inspiration strikes me two to three times a day?

Now, needless to say, all these enhancements can't happen at once. I'd expect to see some improvements over a span of three to five years. Then, when this blog is replaced with something fresh and cutting-edge, I'll bring it back in a waaaaaay prettier font so we can relilve the magic all over again. Think about this; one day, years from now, you could be reading these words in uberstratosphericholographicjustfantastic high definition. Doesn't that make you want to scream to the word that Jesus loves you? No? What if you could read this in mandarin? That's so awesome just to think about... Pissing Vinegar in mandarin on an ubershithot high def monitor, with seventeen deleted words and me talking about taking a shit as you're reading! This is a mind-blowing entertainment experience, people. And, it can be yours for the low, low introductory price of...

I don't know about you, but I think we've found our subject.

These days, Hollywood is crying, bitching, moaning, bawling, lamenting... hang on, checking the thesaurus... bewailing, blubbering, howling, keening, sniveling, sobbing, weeping and whimpering. It would seem that the once mighty movie industry is suffering from an incredible injury, and it's dying fast. Within years, all of the magic could be lost. There might not be any more silver screen heroics, white knuckle thrill rides, two thumbs up. All of it, obliterated by you. Yes, you. You greedy ass piece of shit! How could you drive the film industry under? It's all your fault, you know. Didn't anyone ever teach you that stealing is wrong? 'Cause that's what you're doing! What the hell were you thinking downloading movies from torrent sites? You're killing Hollywood!

And so on, and so forth. However, with all the lawsuits and presumptions and mourning the death of an industry that still thrives, Hollywood hasn't asked themselves the easy question; why are people downloading? In an effort to curb downloading, Warner Brothers pictures has ceased their once common practice of advance screenings in Canada. That's because, as the statistics have proven, Canada is among the worst offenders when it comes to downloading movies (I use the word "offenders" loosely, as it's technically not even illegal here yet). In addition, all of the studios have hired some extra staff in recent years, for their newly-instituted anti-piracy divisions. These are the people who find downloaders and send them nasty e-mails. I've gotten a couple of them, and chances are good that you have too. It's always something along the lines of, "You shouldn't have downloaded 'Happy Feet'. If you don't stop downloading movies, we told your internet provider that we'd sue you, and they're totally on board with it. So stop being a fucking degenerate scumbag and pay to watch movies like all the good people".

But, again, rather than go through all these legal motions and issuance of threats, shouldn't the studios be asking themselves the simple question of why? I'm thinking about it, and I can't recall any article relating to the movie studio where one talks about why people download. It's always either: a) studio pissed off that people are downloading, says it's killing Hollywood, or b) studio taking extra measures to ensure their movie doesn't get downloaded. Look, all I'm saying is that Hollywood could save an assload of money by cutting out all this bureaucratic bullshit and just ask themselves why people download. The answer is easier than you think.

Let's say you love movies. I mean, who doesn't, right? After all, you don't download movies because you want to kill Hollywood; that's silly talk. Anyway, for the purposes of today's experiment, let's say your favourite movie is 'Platoon'. Good choice, my friend. Now, 'Platoon' came out in, what, 1986? Okay. Let's try to remember the price of a movie ticket in 1986. Would you say, around six dollars? Let's go with six. You, of course, loved 'Platoon', so you go twice. You also bought popcorn and Pepsi both times, bringing your total to about $20 (hey, I'm being generous here).

Fast forward to '87, and the VHS release of 'Platoon'. Now, where I come from, in 1987 you couldn't go out and buy a movie. You could rent them, but the cost to buy a VHS was actually a lot higher than a DVD (due to the fact that, in the beginning, VHS movies were marketed to renters rather than owners). Let's say you didn't buy it, only rented it twice at three bucks a pop, totalling $6.

Fast forward all the way to the late '90s. Chances are, you've picked up a VHS copy at a video store for about $3 by now, so you do technically own it. But now, there's this wonderful new technology called DVD. And you can buy 'Platoon' on DVD for the low, low price of $40! Unbelievable! Where do I sign up?

Awesome, but now it's 2003. And, your original 'Platoon' DVD has been deleted in favour of one in a sturdier case and more colourful packaging. But, like we've established, you love 'Platoon', and you're glad to support your faves, so you shell out another $20.

2004: Wow, thanks for being such a big fan! To thank you, we're releasing a special edition of 'Platoon', with more bonus features than ever! $20, please.

2006: We can't believe how well that special edition went over, so you might be interested in the 20th Anniversary Collector's Edition (you ARE a collector, n'est pas?). It's got two discs! You fucking need this DVD! And it's only $30!

2007: You thought it was over? It's never over! We're putting out 'Platoon' in a metal case, just like guns and bullets! It doesn't have any special features you don't already have, but you'll pay the $25 because you, sir, are nuttier than a teacup of shart juice.

Grand total (not counting soundtracks, posters, and other assorted memorabilia): $164... $135 of which was spent on DVDs alone. Now, I don't know about you, but I flat out refuse to pay in excess of $150 for one movie. Not even 'Pulp Fiction', the single greatest film achievement of our time, is worth that kind of cheddar. But, this is what's expected of us, at 2007 theatre prices that make 1986 look like the good old days. And the worst of it: it's not over yet. Now, we have HD DVD and Blu-Ray, and they're rolling out the back catalogue at $40 a pop all over again. They've made a business out of rehashing, and people have started to notice Hollywood's blatant ploys. 'Platoon' is not an extreme example; these days, multiple editions of DVDs are commonplace. Old movies from the 80's that nobody gave two shits about are being repackaged under cutesie, 80's referencing names, like the "tubular" edition et al.

I truly believe that downloading is not what's killing Hollywood; Hollywood is killing itself with greed. Inflated ticket costs, ludicrous prices on "special editions" that "no fan should be without" (which begs the question, you made a regular edition why?!), and continued recycling of old material time and time again have made buying a movie too much of a hassle. I don't own the Lord of the Rings trilogy, because I'm waiting for that one perfect edition to be released. I've waited through the single-disc editions, the double-disc special editions, the four-disc extended editions, the four-disc extended editions with collectible figurine, the six-disc box set, the twelve-disc box set and the two-disc extended editions. If I was a "true collector", I would have already spent around $900 (based on prices when they were first released; nowadays they're really rather cheap) on the DVDs alone.

Is it really so hard to believe that people have had enough of being milked? Can Hollywood not see that people aren't willing to spend their life savings on movies? Well, considering that Spiderman 3 pulled in close to $150 million in three days, I guess they can't. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to download 'Platoon'. And 'Spiderman 3'. Because I want to kill Hollywood.

Here endeth the ePISSle.

Weekend Video Roundup

Queens Of The Stone Age: Sick, Sick, Sick
You know what rock videos need more of? Cannibalism!



Chris Cornell: Arms Around Your Love
With his new solo album in stores June 5, Chris Cornell has chosen a rocking new single for radio in "No Such Thing". Why he chose this kinda syrupy, generic tune for video is kind of mind boggling... unless, of course, he aspires to be Chad Kroeger. Nevertheless, have a peek at the clip, and make your own opinion. Ah, democracy.



Smashing Pumpkins: Tarantula
Yup, this be brand spankin' new shit from Corgan and friends. It's been seven years since their last official studio album, and many would argue that we really don't need to hear any more from the creepy little bald guy (lest we forget Zwan and that wrong, bad, worse than Adore solo record a few years back). Well, surprisingly enough, this track is rocking pretty hard. I wouldn't go so far as to say we've got a new "Zero" on our hands or anything, but it damn sure ain't dullsville.

UPDATE: The interweb saw fit to eat the original, politically charged fanmade video I posted originally, so here's a lame ass video, which uses band photos and crappy editing. Enjoy!



And, because I usually like to end this with cats and/or something strange, allow me to present the weirdest fucking Mastodon video you're ever going to see! The song is "Aqua Dementia", from their 2004 mindmelter Leviathan, and if you get lost, don't worry! The lyrics appear on screen, enabling you to sing along! F! U! N!!!



Did I neglect to mention that this was a Russian karaoke video? And that it was actually another one of those "misheard lyrics" videos? In Russian? With penis slippers? My bad. Looks like I let everyone down again. Not to worry! I've always got a Plan B...



Later, taters...

EDIT: STOP THE PRESSES!
You're kidding me... you've got to be fucking kidding me!



Okay, that'll do.

Greatest. Commercial. Ever.

Okay, maybe not ever, but you can't deny that the dynamic combination of hot chicks, Duran Duran and Bruce fucking Campbell makes you want to run to the deodorant aisle of your nearest grocery store. Ahoy!

Weekend Video Roundup (The technically Monday morning, though still the weekend in my mind edition)

Time for another batch of new videos, starting with "Lie", the debut single from Black Light Burns. If you aren't familiar with this band, you may be surprised by its personnel. On vocals, you've got Wes Borland (aka the actually talented member of Limp Bizkit), who gives a shockingly adequate performance on the mic given his past pedigree for lurching around and being weird. Throw in a couple of Nine Inch Nails alumni (Danny Lohner and Josh Freese) and we're talking a regular industrial alt-metal supergroup here. Trust me, it's not as bad as it looks on paper. Imagine a Trent Reznor remix of a Limp Bizkit song, where Fred Durst's vocals are replaced with real, actual vocals. Oh, and ixnay on the apray. Voila!



Up next, a live TV performance of the new Queens of the Stone Age single, "Sick, Sick, Sick". An actual video for the track has been shot, and will likely be on your TV screen soon... you know, assuming there's a channel out there that plays music videos. In the meantime, if you're just curious to hear the full track, check this shit out. Killer stuff.



Last but not least, I'm pleased to present the interweb premiere of the brand new White Stripes video for "Icky Thump". Enjoy!



Okay, so it's not the official video. But, think about it; how awesome would it be if it was?

Anyway, as you can tell, it's been a slow week for videos. Might I appease you with a classic piece of footage from... oh, say... Kyuss?



If you didn't enjoy that, you don't have a fucking soul, man. You should probably give up on music altogether and watch this video of evil kitty cats!



Sweet dreams, interweb. Sweet dreams...

Random Jank Video! Mario: Game Over

All I can say about this video is... watch.

Weekend Video Roundup

Because you (read: I) can't get enough of quick and easy posts, here's some of the newest and coolest videos of recent weeks for your perusal.

Bjork: Earth Intruders

As is par for the course, Bjork turns in a very... um... artistic video for the first single from Volta. This is, in all likelihood, her comeback (so to speak), after years of being way too fucking weird for normal people to handle. With that in mind, the comeback is likely goiong to be due to the fact that normal people assume that this is as close to accesible as Bjork is likely to get from here on out. If you care enough to hit up the record store, Volta hits the shelf this Tuesday.



Black Rebel Motorcycle Club: Weapon Of Choice

One of Britain's most Under the Radar bands (if there even is such a thing) has to be BRMC. Since their debut some six years ago or so, these lads have quietly turned out four solid albums, with nary a UK pressman hailing them as the saviours of rock. Their newest release, Baby 81, sees a return to the rocking roots of BRMC, a sharp swerve from the alt-country-gospel feel of 2005's surprising Howl. Earning mixed reviews upon release, Baby 81 has been called everything from a raucous return to form... to a Journey album. I'll go with the former.



Dinosaur Jr.: Been There All The Time

Speaking of return to form... it's been ten years since Dinosaur Jr. released a new album, and thirteen since their last "hit", 1994's Without A Sound. And, listening to "Been There All The Time", you realize you missed these guys waaay more than you ever thought possible. Astonishingly, after a decade apart as a band, Beyond might just be the best album they've ever done. If you scoff at that accusation, a) congratulations on remembering Dinosaur Jr., and b) watch this video and know I may well speak the truth.


Fuck, I miss the 90's.

Finally, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that on June 26, Pearl Jam releases a seven(!) CD box set, consisting of three entire live performances from the Gorge, a (pardon the pun) gorgeous outdoor concert venue in Washington State. Going by the immensely deep title Live At The Gorge 05/06, the 97-song set gives an excellent indication of the diversity Pearl Jam brings to their set lists. While some songs are bound to be played more than once over the course of the three shows, a lot of ground gets covered with regards to PJ's 15+ year career. Coles Notes: If you've seen/heard Pearl Jam live, you know this is fucking awesome. If you haven't... clear the next 25 minutes of your schedule, click the little play thingies below and wish you had tickets to Lollapalooza, biatch!

All videos shot at the 05/06 Gorge shows.

Daughter/It's OK:



I Won't Back Down (yes, the Tom Petty tune):



Yellow Ledbetter/Little Wing/Star Spangled Banner:



Thank you good night!

I Remember You: Sandbox

Who They Were:
Paul Murray (vocals)
Mike Smith (guitar/vocals)
Jason Archibald (guitar/vocals)
Scott MacFarlane (bass/vocals)
Troy Shanks (drums/piano/vocals)

When It Happened:
1995-1998

Why They're Remembered:
A variety of reasons, not the least of which is their second album, which is one of the most criminally underappreciated albums of all time.

If you'll think back to the 90's you'll recall that, after Seattle exploded, every grabass record exec across the land swooped down upon the coffee capital, milking it for every musician they could find. Soon, of course, the supply was bone dry. Desperate for more money, the land was scoured for another sleeping giant, an unseen mecca of untapped talent. Somehow, the record labels decided that Halifax was the place. Before long, label execs were boarding jet planes to see shows at tiny Halifax clubs and snapping up all the homegrown bands they could find. Sloan, Eric's Trip, Thrush Hermit, and dozens more found themselves the focus of what everyone hoped would be the next Seattle.

As we all know, that didn't quite happen. As it turns out, the majority of these musicians were way too artistically inclined and independently minded. A few hit singles were to be had, but if you look at the alumni from that era, only Joel Plaskett and Sloan are still making a halfway decent go at it today. At least, when it comes to music.

In 1995, a little known group named Sandbox would make its way onto the scene, coming at a rather precocious time. By '95, Sloan had released their artistically amazing sophomore album Twice Removed to a dead silent audience. Half of the bands scooped up in the Halifax Rock Explosion had splintered into other, unknown bands and/or disbanded altogether. The group that was all the rage in the area wasn't even a rock band; it was Great Big Sea. In the big picture, grunge had pretty much died a year earlier with a shotgun blast to Kurt Cobain's melon. And, even though they weren't really a grunge band, Sandbox was from Halifax. Thus, the preconceived notion was there. It was clear from the beginning that this group wasn't about to get a fair shake in the industry.

It started off well enough. "Curious", lead single from the debut Bionic, got a fair amount of rotation on radio and video channels. It even cracked the top five on the nationwide MuchMusic countdown, an accolade that actually meant something back then. The next single, "Collide", inexplicably wasn't as well received. Regardless, Bionic performed well enough saleswise for EMI to finance recording sessions with Don Fleming (best known for his work with Sonic Youth and the Posies), sessions which resulted in the fantastic sophomore effort, A Murder in the Glee Club.

Sadly, just after the recording, Sandbox parted ways with EMI. Apparently upset with the label's marketing plans, the band was somehow able to get out of their contract with full ownership of their songs. The album ended up getting released with distribution by EMI, but the label obviously had little to gain in promoting it. As a result, singles "Carry" and "...to red" barely made a dent in the charts. Shortly thereafter, they called it a day.

Of course, acute fans of Trailer Park Boys already know that guitarist Mike Smith went on to play Bubbles on the long-running Showtime comedy. And hardcores don't need to be told that singer Paul Murray has a famous aunt named Anne. As for the rest of the band? Well, bassist Scott MacFarlane continues to find work, playing for a variety of east coast bands and artists (such as Crush and Gordie Sampson). Jason Archibald took the opportunity to go back to school after the band broke up. He graduated from Dalhousie University in 2001 with a degree in medicine, and is now presumably saving someone's life. Drummer Troy Shanks has kept a lower profile, as evidenced by the fact that I couldn't find much of anything non-Sandbox related in a Google search.

All in all, Sandbox will be remembered by most more for spawning Bubbles than anything else. But, looking back on their short career, there's a lot to be said for a little band from Pictou County whose albums play just as well today as they did ten years ago.

If you're clueless through all of this Sandbox talk, worry not. I shant leave you hanging! Regardez! Les videos et les mp3s! C'est bon, n'est pas?

Don't ask me why I said that in french. I just did; accept it, it happened, and it's over. Now, have a look and a listen. If you were there, remensice. If you weren't and like what you hear, good fucking luck finding their CDs anywhere but a pawn shop (for the record, I was recently able to reacquire both albums for $4).

Video

"Curious", from Bionic (1995). The one that started (and, for most, ended) it all.



"The Specter", from A Murder in the Glee Club (1997). Live at MuchMusic, back in the long long ago when they had music. Master T, bitches!



And, as an added bonus, an EPK (for those not familiar with the biz, Electronic Press Kit) from around the release of Bionic . Nice fellas!



Audio

Bear with me, I'm new to the posting mp3 thing. If the links don't work, teach me how to do it the right way instead of yelling that the links don't work. And if you're Sandbox and are pissed at me for posting these songs, I'll remove them before you can say "Jesus Christ, Ricky" and send my readers here for free Sandbox mp3s instead.

From Bionic:

"Collide"
"Flux"

From A Murder in the Glee Club:

"...to red"
"Carry"
"Missed The Day"

Finally, for those of you who find obscure Canadian rock unappealing, perhaps you'll enjoy some footage of cats getting stoned! Huzzah!



That is all.