STRANGER
Written for Taya, February 2003

Careful breezes
Ease the burning in my blood
A change in seasons
Turns this blizzard to a flood

And every time I try
To bury my doubt alive
Resurfacing
I'm climbing up too high

(Chorus 1)
This is the feeling that shakes me
This is the meaning that makes me whole again

Deconstruction
Shake the structure of this hope
A loss of function
Leave me dangling from my rope

And every time I try
To kiss this pain goodbye
Rebuilt in me
I'm building this too high

Repeat Chorus 1
(Chorus 2)
You are the anger that drives me
My life is the stranger that grinds me down again

Dreaming so dangerously
Teetering perilously
Hold on... hold on...

And every time I dive
You're keeping me alive
Rebuilding me

From the apple of my eye, these seeds I harvest
Planted on a foundation of trust
The fruits of my labour have soured
The father within me devoured
I'm climbing higher by the hour
And over me you still tower

And every time I die
I bury the past alive
Resurfacing
Resurfacing in me...

SPIDERHOLES
Written February 2004
One of the latest in the Willie anthology. Quite obviously, this song is inspired by the capture of Saddam Hussein. And, while I'm not pleading for mercy on his behalf, I thought it'd be interesting to write a song that was lyrically from what I imagined as his point of view, no doubt tired, scared, and weak from months of hiding. The photos of Saddam after his capture didn't really show me a merciless monster; more like a weary old man with sad, dying eyes, knowing full well that his days have been numbered. That made me think about what the reaction would be if, in his most vulnerable moment, he saw the error of his ways, and made a teary-eyed apology for all of his misdoings. Naturally, I guessed, people would still call for his head. But, even still, I have to wonder who among us would be able to forgive a man so menacing and threatening if he were to raise the white flag, as it were.

After even more thinking, I came to the conclusion that it doesn't fucking matter what happens to Saddam. There's always a new menace waiting in the wings. We can put Saddam Hussein to death for his crimes against humanity, but it won't keep these crimes from happening again.

******

I'm fucking tired
Don't want to run no more
What am I hiding for?
Don't I know the war is over?
Hello out there
Don't shoot, I'm coming out
My time is running out
And I want to live for just a little while

The hands of time, they can't be shook
And I can't give back the things I took

So I surrender
I give in to your power
Here in my weakest hour
Looks like you caught me cowering

There's no forgiveness in your eyes
I need to atone for all of my lies

I don't expect your sympathy here
At least, I don't expect it to be sincere
When you're as hated as I
Nobody cries

I'm fucking sorry
But that's not good enough
You'll gladly call my bluff
Be it truth or fable
Hello out there
We're off the air
And you wouldn't care
But the war is over now

And when they shoot me, it's just the death of a menace
A sigh of relief, breathing life to the campaign
When you see me, I'm just another dead menace
A martyr to keep you safe from the terror reign
Until the cycle begins again...

The war is never over...

SHITHAMMER
Written December 2003
As some will attest, inspiration strikes in the strangest moments. In the case of "Shithammer", it struck twice. For starters, I confess to being a total geek, to the extent where I play 'Magic: The Gathering' with friends. I won't bore you with a lesson, but suffice to say there's a certain Magic card we've dubbed the Shithammer. Basically, I thought to myself that Shithammer would make a great title for a song.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks before Christmas. I was driving back from a visit to Woodstock, coming back through Fredericton via Highway 8, passing through Marysville. I saw a sign that I think mentioned some sort of beautification project sponsored by the federal government. A line was born in my head, and it had nowhere to go but out. Of all the songs I've written in my life, this one stands as the only one to ever be written (mentally AND physically) while driving. I don't condone the act of writing while driving, but I didn't really want to stop driving OR writing. Regardless, looking back, it's funny how a simple little sign can birth what I think is a pretty scathing social commentary. Enjoy.

Underneath the silvery shimmer of your federal beautification
There's rust spots poking through the pretense
It's leading me to think that maybe I should bury myself in blankets
These raindrops smack of putrid promises...

And please don't say anything more (4x)

You told me it was coming up roses, but the stench proves you a liar
No glory; integrity is a pipe dream
You hammered me with bullshit, but now we've set the bags on fire
So sorry, but you're burning unless you stomp it clean now

And please don't say anything more (4x)

Stepping with your swagger in the execution style
In a game of inches, you've been looking for a mile
Push the button, pull the trigger 'til the nation's hanging loose
Leave the population swinging on a bureaucratic noose
I'm calling you a fucker, since you want to turn the screws
Take your head out of your ass for a different point of view
And maybe when the cities burn, and order is refused
You'll realize that we've all turned out just like you

And please don't say anything more (4x)

NOUGAT
Written January 2004
I try to shy away from cheesy love songs so, of course, this one's kind of a cheesy love song (although the music in my head when I read the lyrics over is actually pretty heavy). But, more importantly, it's about knowing something feels right, and wanting to hold onto it. The title, of course, refers to the sweet middle contained within certain tasty chocolate bars. Now, when I eat a chocolate bar, I'm a little whacked out in that I'll nibble all the chocolate off the outside, saving the nougat for last. Not to say it's the best part of the bar, but i's kind of the goal I work for. Weird, huh? Anyway, if you want the Coles Notes of what this song is all about, I'd say it's about that moment when you realize that you've found something (or someone) who is just... right. And, for me, that's not so far removed from tediously nibbling all that chocolate away, and finally being rewarded with the nougat inside.

This isn't over by a long shot
We've got the makings of a classic here
Let's sit back and see what happens
I'm kind of partial to your atmosphere
I like it here

(Chorus)
I don't want to go without you
You've got your purpose
And you serve it well
So I don't want to go around you
I want to see what's under your shell
I think you've quite the tale to tell

May the afterlife be post-coital bliss
I always smile after the screaming
I'll suck the agony from your poisoned kiss
Just please don't wake me if I'm dreaming
You're gleaming

Repeat chorus

And you stole your voice from an angel
I'd follow your song to the gates of hell...

(Bridge)
Shine your light on me, oh, blind me with its grace
I don't need to see, just let my fingers reach your face
Bring your life to me, oh, kill me with its breath
'Cause we're nose to nose, and heaven knows if hell is all that's left

Don't hold back now
Show me everything...

I've got the feeling this is something worth starting
I get the feeling this is gonna work out in the end

I want to sing your praises forever
I want to scream it so loud, everyone remembers...

It's No Adult Film Star, But It'll Do

Well, I've now completed one week of my new job. For those of you who missed it, I am now a QAR (Quality Assurance Representative) for ICT here in the 'chi. I must say, it's MUCH more nerve pleasing than my last go 'round, which quite literally almost gave me a nervous breakdown. This job is something I think I can do for a lot longer than three weeks, if they don't lay me off by then. Apparently, at the west side location (I'm on the south side), 40 people have been laid off this week. Let's hope that's where it stops, because I'll be damned if I'm flippin' burgers up in this motherfucker.

Anyway, that's the good news. The bad news is, because of the schedule layout, I have to work every second Saturday. Not so bad, really, but did they have to make me work on both Saturdays when Gnosh and Obsidian Reign are playing shows together? I was really looking forward to that shit, too.

Speaking of stuff I'm going to miss, my daughter Taya's sixth (!) birthday is on Friday. For those who don't know, seeing my children involves a 3-1/2 hour drive, which isn't happening when I'm working 4:30pm-1am.

Regardless, it's completely staggering when I think about the fact that not only do I have children, but my little baby girl is almost six years old. To those of you who are fortunate to hold your children every day, I say savour these moments, for they leave us far too soon.

So, even though I know she won't read this, I send out the happiest of birthday wishes to Taya. I love you, and hope I can visit you really soon.

Um... sorry 'bout the downer. I try to keep a smile on my face, but this time of year kind of runs me through the wringer. Hopefully by the time next week rolls around, I'll have a brand new PV to offer. Let's hope.

Until next time, be safe. And, call someone you love.

THREAT LIKE ME
Written October 2003
I wrote this happy little ditty around the time my unemployment cheques were on the verge of expiring, I was working little to no hours for my part-time job, and I thought I was losing my grip on sanity. More than anything, it's an anthem to attest to the fact that, no matter what kind of bullshit you go through in life, the only important thing is that you do, indeed, go THROUGH it. A simple little acoustic number that I actually recorded, and I think it turned out okay. Maybe it'll end up on my forever delayed debut album.

You know what you're doing
All stoned and triumphant, and vividly conscious
But it's better than losing
Lately, I'm losing much more than I wanted

You smile, and I'll stay for a while
Until the bottles are emptied, and our judgment's defiled
You say, "It doesn't get better than this"
But if it was so good, then I wouldn't have bandaged wrists

(Chorus)
Oh, so many ways to go
Many a threat to be seen
But, of all of the dangers I know
I've never known a threat like me

I've got me a thimble
It holds all my dreams without spilling a drop
When you feel you're in limbo
You can't hope to climb, because the fall never stops

You sigh, a few hours go by
Until faith's just a memory we confuse with a lie
You say, "How did we ever come to this?"
But if I knew the answers, I could've loosened my fists

Chorus

BOOYAH!

Well, the news is in, and it's good. Starting tomorrow, I'll be employed at ICT's verification department here in the 'chi. Great hours for a nighthawk like me (most shifts 4:30pm-1am), great pay, benefits, and alleviation of the stress that comes with having no money.

Let's hope this job lasts longer than three days.

And... we're back.

Well, well, well... it seems that it's been quite some time since the last update (over a year?! Damn, that's a long time). Anyway, there's been a lot go down since the last update; too much, in fact. So fuck it, there isn't much to be said about it.

More recently, I've found myself on the verge of a new full-time gig doing verification work for ICT here in the 'chi. Things are looking good there.

Also of note is the fact that I'm now the proud owner of high-speed internet. Apparently, that (or, more specifically, the firewall that came with it) is the reason Geocities keeps fucking up on me. So, friends, it's all but official: the Pissing Vinegar site is dead. Take a moment of silence with me, won't you?

That's how the site would have wanted it. Anyway, over the next little wile, I'll be re-posting the articles here, so as to not only keep this site open for all future PV's, but it also makes a sweet excuse to use up a shitload of bandwidth!

So, um... tha's about it for now. More new stuff will be posted eventually, but for now I'll just leave you with some of my latest writings. I think you'll find it a little edgier than previous works, because it was written for a might / might not be recorded album of metal. Enjoy!



SUCKER FOR PUNISHMENT

Written January 14, 2004
While a lot of my lyrics come to me on their own, forcing me to write them down on paper before the leave my mind, this one is an exception. In the previous weeks, I had been doing a fair amount of writing and, though they're weren't complete shit, I knew I was capable of better. With that in mind, I sat myself down, and literally refused to stop writing until a song was finished. This was the result.

Held captive
I'm forcing myself again
No control
I've got to follow every whim

The seconds tick and I'm tired
But I keep on going
Frantic and feverish, borderline delirious
You could say I'm taking this too serious

(Chorus 1:)
When every word is a weapon
You've got to choose your targets wisely
I'm the only one left to confide in
So I've committed suicide again

I'm breaking
Spilling onto an empty page
No control
I have to spit out all my rage

The pace makes me sick and uninspired
But I keep on going
Desperate and devious, it's so fucking tedious
But every time I bleed, I bleed for us

(Chorus 2:)
When every word is a weapon
You've got to choose your targets wisely
I shoot myself in the head again
And now I'll wait for new life to begin

Why must I settle for emptiness
Without so much as a second guess?
Sucker for punishment, more or less...


THE BUSINESS OF FAITH

Written December 25, 2003
I had gone to Blackville for Christmas, to spend the holiday with my family. As per Williston tradition, we all went to Church on Christmas Eve. Midway through the service, the collection plate was handed out. Here I was, my unemployment cheques run out, barely five dollars to my name, yet I had been conditioned since childhood to chip in at Church. After dropping a twonie into the plate, wheels started turning. What had God ever done for me? Heretic as it sounds, I didn't feel I was getting my money's worth out of this alleged supreme being. The next day, this song came out.

You've got to hook 'em while they're young, God
Make them fear you, maybe they'll comprehend
That it's the truth, not the lesser of evils
To be trapped in a world without end

I've drank the blood of Jesus
It only tasted like watered down wine
And I tried to believe that the Bible
Wasn't just a book full of watered down lies

(Chorus 1:)
If you're up there, show your face
We don't like to wait
They're passing the collection plate
Like a predator dangling the bait
The business of faith

You can believe in what you want to
But I won't give my life to something sight unseen
By definition, if this makes me evil
Then burn the Bible, for it's more obscene

Slaughters and plagues, rain for forty days
Idle threats from behind the pulpit
I may be damned eternally
But at least I know I'm not your puppet

(Chorus 2:)
If you're up there, show your face
We need a reason to be afraid
Tap into another fresh vein
'Til you're back in the black again
The business of faith

(Chorus 3:)
If you're up there, show your face
The time has come to reclaim your place
A simple choice for us to make
Pay up, or burn in flame
The business of faith